Damn.
September 15, 2009
I can never top this.
I think I’m going to take over Jenny the Bloggess’s blog and stuff her in a suitcase and leave her at the airport after giving her drugs that’ll make her forget who she is and where she came from. I don’t know what kind of drugs those are but, I’ll figure it out.
Just, damn.
*edit* Also, I’m sort of kind of jealous that she gets God’s miracle boobie mushrooms where as I get ugly mushrooms that look a little sick, and probably were abandoned by Jenny’s faeries and that’s why they’re so ugly.
pshh.. it’s ONE BOOB MUSHROOM. What good is one boob mushroom.. boobs are best in pairs – in fact.. I think most boob shops have a buy-one-get-one offer because.. who wants to be lopsided? But I digress.. one boob mushroom?? That’s like a BAD omen. God is telling her.. have you had your breast examination recently.. because guess what.. rheumatoid arthritis ISN’T ENOUGH. If I had a single boob mushroom in my yard.. I’d mow over it and call it a mastectomy.
James is right. I think Jesus wants me to get a mammogram.
James is very smart, but he’s also a Mormon. So, we have to watch out for what he says… Mormons are weird and decipher God messages a lot differently than the rest of us. Also, I wouldn’t trust him with a lawn mower. He ended up with his on top of him the other week in a nice accident that COULD OF KILLED HIM but he did a super dad thing and flung this giant thing off himself. So weird.